DVD Facilitator's Guide - Lesson 3 & Lesson 4

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Discipline - Deciding What You Want


  • Parents will gain understanding of their tremendous role as a “wizard” in the lives of their children.  Parents are asked to decide if they choose to be “positive wizards” or “negative wizards”.

  • Parents will gain an understanding of the concept presented in rule #4: "There is only one kind of Discipline… and that is self-discipline!"

  • Parents will learn that obedience can be a very dangerous reason for children to limit their own behavior.

  • Parents will learn other reasons to ask their children to adjust their own behavior. These reasons are far more useful to kids, than obedience, for making good decisions about their lives.

  • Parents will learn to identify their own goals in working with kids so that the goal can direct their strategy.

  • Parents will begin to develop their own strategies for working with their own children and will begin to have confidence in their own abilities as effective parents.

  • Parents will understand that "quality time" is a hoax! There is time… period. A parent must give a child lots of time in order to be effective as a mentor.

Key Concepts:

  • The ideas in our kids' heads will rule their world so as we work with them, we must aim at directing, and shaping the critical ideas that children will use to make the big decisions in their lives.

  • Parenting done in the manner advocated here will require lots of time. If you are willing to spend time, you will experience amazing success! "You can fake like you care, but you can't fake being there!"

  • We cannot control our kids. All we can do is teach them how to control themselves.

  • When we, as parents, are clear in our own minds of exactly what we want our children to do and also are totally clear about why we want them to do it, then we will drastically increase the possibilities of success.

  • We parents can choose to be either a “Positive Wizard” or a “Negative Wizard” to our children! This should be a conscious decision that every parent should give great thought to making.


  • In one of their children, parents are to pick a behavior they would like to change.

  • The parents will attempt to restructure their approach to allow their child the clear understanding of exactly what is expected of them and also why that behavior is being asked of them.

  • The parents then must sell the desired action on its own merits. The child will be sold upon the personal advantage and profitability for the change in action.

Discipline: Deciding what you want


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