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Parenting Newsletter |
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June 2003 |
Effective Parenting Skills |
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Dear Parents and Supporters: Hello again, and welcome to the June edition of the Parenting With Dignity newsletter. School is over and the lazy days of summer are upon us. Later this summer, we'll be announcing the availability of our parenting curriculum on DVDs. Although we'll announce it in this newsletter, if you would like to be notified as soon as possible, send us an email. |
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Vacation Suggestion Summer is now in full swing and many of us are getting ready to take vacation. Whether you plan to hit the beach, or retrace Lewis and Clark's trek to the woods, take along a good book. During that long drive, or after the day's activities are over, nothing relaxes like an interesting read. During this vacation, do something else good for your family and yourself. Sharpen your parenting skills and hone your understanding of what kids need from you. Take along Mac Bledsoe's highly acclaimed new book, "Parenting With Dignity". To get your copy of Mac's wisdom and common sense, order your copy today, click here. Remember to "RAP" For the benefit of our new subscribers, RAP is our acronym for "Refer A Parent". We're asking your help in making PWD available to every parent. If you would refer just one parent and introduce them to our program you can help us make our world better for kids. There are a number of ways you can help us do this:
Thank you, and stay safe, The Editor
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In This |
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Dear Mac, My wife and I are extremely interested in purchasing your parenting course on video, but first, I have a couple of questions. We have a 2 1/2 year old son and a 8 week old. Our 2 1/2 year old is very rebellious at this point of his life. He is normally a very well-behaved, mild-mannered boy, but he is going through a lot right now, including the birth of his brother, starting school and potty training. Does your curriculum include working with children this young or is it geared for more for older children. Dad in New York Dear Dad, Great question, the central core concept that our Parenting with Dignity course is built upon is that your kids will make all of the big decisions in their lives. So it is our belief that the best time to begin giving them decisions to make is at the youngest age possible. The earlier that you start the better so the answer is definitely a resounding, “Yes, the course applies to younger kids as well!” As a matter of fact it seems silly to wait to establish your plan for raising your children until they are older… start now. Now, for a comment on your observations about your son; one key concept that we teach is that “the ideas in kid’s heads will rule their world!” You will understand as soon as you get going with the tapes! But the same is true for parents… “the ideas in your head will rule your world!” Let me demonstrate this to you by changing one word in one sentence that you wrote to me:
Notice how that changes your observations about your son’s behavior at this most exciting period of his development. What can be annoying when viewed as rebellious really looks different if you view it as an inquisitive young man trying to see how the world works and how he fits into it. He is using his behavior to “inquire” of you how you will react to his actions. Now let me offer a couple of thoughts on one of the behaviors you have mentioned; the beginning of sibling rivalry. Begin by asking yourself, “What is the desired behavior with ‘Little Sister’ that we want our son to exhibit?” Make a list of 4 or 5 specifically and behaviorally described behaviors that you would like for your son to use and simply begin practicing them with him. Practice before he is in the situation so that he can work with you on those behaviors away from “Little Sister” and get undivided attention from you that is not with little sister. That way she is a reason for him to get extra attention. Make the behaviors that you are teaching be things that let him feel like he is in some control of his sister. It might be good to get a life-sized doll on which to practice. Let him sit in a chair and teach him how to hold her. Let him hold her when others are around so that they will naturally comment about him as well as the cute new little one. Have him gather the necessary diaper, handy-wipes, warm wash cloth, ointment, etc. to change her diaper. Have him with you when you change the diaper and let him feel important in this necessary attention when you must pay attention to his sister. Figure out a couple more behaviors (best for you to select a couple that fit your situation) for him to learn and work on them with him. He will learn how to help with the new addition to the family while at the same time getting attention because she is here! With regards to school, I would suggest that you use a very similar tactic; practice 4 – 5 desired school behaviors at home by playing school with him. Define a few behaviors that will allow him to practice the appropriate behaviors away from the stress of being in a room full of other kids and with a strange teacher in control. He will become comfortable with the behaviors and at the same time get some undivided attention from you because he is going to school! As to the potty training, it is natural for kids to regress at times of stress so I would not worry about this, it will most likely take care of itself as he becomes comfortable with school and little sister. Good luck with the Parenting with Dignity course. Please see: http://www.parentingwithdignity.com/PWD/video_series/tape10f.htm to learn how to maximize your learning with the tapes. I cannot encourage you strongly enough to start a class. You will learn more from that process than you will from the tapes alone! Sincerely,
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Thanks for Family! |
(Sometimes the things that annoy us are really things for which we should give thanks!) For the husband/wife who snores all night, because he/she is at home asleep with me and not with someone else and it means that I have a family. For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes, because that means he/she is at home & not on the streets, and doing dishes usually means that we have eaten. For the taxes that I pay, because it means that I have an income and that my kids will have a school. For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that friends have surrounded me. For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means my family has a home. For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech and it means that my children will grow in a land which they can change for the better. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking and that I have been blessed with transportation. For my huge heating bill, because it means my family is warm. For the person behind me in synagogue/church/mosque that sings off key, because it means that I can we have the freedom to worship as we choose and it means that I can hear. For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means my family has clothes to wear, clean water to wash them in, and a home to keep them in. For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard and that I have a job. For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive and able to arise and share the day with my family. Remember that the ideas in our heads as parents rule our world every bit as much as the ideas in the heads of our kids rule their world! As parents we must be very careful to not let unwanted ideas into our head because they will very certainly rule our world in some very unwanted ways if we let them occupy our thoughts. This list is a very small beginning for you to use in training the focus of your thoughts about your family. Please feel free to add to this with some ideas you have written for yourself.
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Good news |
Lynn phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat." Lynn replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear." "OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news." "Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works!" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news." The patient said, "Give me just the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you."
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